


I Don’t Request Your Sympathy

by carnivalinsidemyhead



Category: Take That
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Frankly Rob and Gary are dicks in this, Gary is repressed, Howard and Mark are stronger than they think, Jason is Jason, M/M, Rob has at least some sense of guilt though, Rob is possessive, mostly implied sexual encounters, nineties fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-25 04:52:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17718404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carnivalinsidemyhead/pseuds/carnivalinsidemyhead
Summary: It was a pattern with the four of them. Robbie and Gary would rant and sulk by turns and Mark and Howard would rush to comfort and distract them.And Jason would stand by and watch, biting his lip to keep from pointing out how much it looked to him like Mark and Howard were being used.





	1. Chapter 1

Mark sat on the hotel room bed and listened patiently (well, mostly patiently) to Robbie ranting and raving about Gary stealing Relight My Fire from him. 

“You know as well as I do that Gaz isn’t the one who picks who does the leads, the suits do that, Bob,” Mark gently reminded him.

“Yeah, well he’s got an in with em, don’t he? He’s got it all fixed in his favor.”

Mark sighed. It probably wasn’t the best time to remind Robbie that if he actually wanted that vocal, he shouldn’t have half assed the demo; not while he was in this sort of mood. Instead he rubbed his shoulders sympathetically and planted a row of kisses on his neck.

“I can help you take your mind off it, if ya like?”

Robbie pouted. “I dunno..I’m pretty upset..I…”

Mark worked his mouth up to Robbie’s ear and his hand down to his crotch.

“Mmmm...on second thought…” 

Mark smiled wryly to himself. He knew his Robbie.

Meanwhile, over in Gary’s room, Gary was sulking over having to sing another cover song.  
“It is a good song though, Gaz,” Howard pointed out. “It’s a gay anthem. It’s gonna go down a treat with our fans.”

Gary frowned at this. “I thought we were supposed to be shifting away from the gay demographic?”

Howard gave him a look that would have read “seriously? you’ve been shagging me for three years now and you’re still uptight about not looking straight?” if Gary had been astute enough to read it. 

Aloud, he said “they fucking made us. We can’t turn our backs on them.”

“On us” He thought to himself. Maybe Gaz could keep kidding himself but he couldn’t. 

Not that he was going to speak up publicly. He knew the rules. “Never confirm or deny your sexual orientation.”

Didn’t mean he was gonna lie to himself. Gaz though..he talked about their gay followers like they were wholly different from him, yet sought Howard out again and again for sex. Howard honestly didn’t know what to make of it.

He didn’t much care for it, he knew that much. But he would never say so.

It was a pattern with the four of them. Robbie and Gary would rant and sulk by turns and Mark and Howard would rush to comfort and distract them. 

And Jason would stand by and watch, biting his lip to keep from pointing out how much it looked to him like Mark and Howard were being used. Because it was never the other way around was it? Not that either Mark or Howard was the ranting and sulking type. But they had to get upset or hurt sometime. He knew they did, they were both sensitive. And he supposed that surely at some point, Robbie and Gary had offered a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear to them.

He’d never seen them do it, mind, while he’d witnessed Mark soothing Robbie and Howard soothing Gary dozens of times over the years…

But it was none of his business, was it? He should just keep his mouth shut. 

Occasionally, the urge to speak up would get the better of him though. Like when Mark was fretting before dance practice that Robbie would be upset that he hadn’t had a chance to get him a birthday present. 

“Markie, when has Rob ever once given *you* a birthday present? Or even a card?”

Mark frowned at Jason, who carried on, “does he even know when your birthday is?”

“Of course he does!” Mark defended Robbie insistently. “At least he...um..” Mark trailed off. “He’s not very good at stuff like that, okay?” 

“He managed to get Gaz a birthday card, I noticed. And yours is only a week later. Funny isn’t it, how he can remember his rival’s birthday but not his boyfriend’s?”

“Hilarious.” Mark thought. Absolutely knee slapping, punch yourself in the face hilarious.

“Hey Dickhead!” Robbie greeted Gary jovially outside the dance studio door, “Thanks for the birthday card!” 

 

“Gaz got you a card?” Howard shook his head. “More’n he’s ever done for my birthday.”

Mark tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his stomach.

More jokingly than he felt, he said “eh..he’s still got time. Your birthday isn't until...say, Gaz, when is How’s birthday?”

Gary looked uncomfortable. “It’s..er...in April.. I think…”

“It’s April 28,” Jason said quietly. And then added, “By the way, Rob, Mark’s was January 27.”

Under his breath, just barely loud enough to be heard, he muttered “you can fuck them and use them for your emotional punching bags but you can’t be arsed to remember their birthdays; that’s typical that is.”

“The fuck did you just say??” Robbie demanded.

Jason gave him a deliberately fake smile. “I said Happy Birthday Bob, hope you have a fucking great day.” 

 

It didn’t used to be like this, thought Mark as he poured himself another drink from the minibar in his room. Sure, Robbie always did buck against Gary and he’d have to vent from time to time, but he didn’t used to be this...obsessed. Mark tried and tried to recall the last conversation he had with Robbie that didn’t either begin or end with Robbie going on and on and ON about how Gaz was driving him fucking spare. He honestly couldn’t come up with one. 

 

“Maybe I should just ask him if he wants Gaz to join us in bed. Since he’s so on about him getting up his arse and all.” he thought bitterly.

Then even more bitterly, “I don’t know that he’d want me there.”

 

Sighing heavily, he took a sip of wine. And then another. And another. And another. Then he refilled his glass and drained it in one go.

“Fuck em.” He threw the glass across the room and nodded with satisfaction as it smashed against the door. 

 

There was a knock on the door a moment later.

 

“You all right in there, Markie?” Howard sounded worried.

Mark stood up wobbily and staggered slightly toward the door and opened it a crack.

“Just fucking peachy,” he grinned unconvincingly at a concerned looking Howard and Jason. 

“We heard glass breaking,” Jason said, pushing past Mark and entering the room without waiting to be invited in. He surveyed the wine glass shards on the floor. 

“Let’s get this cleaned up before someone gets hurt, yeah?” He looked over at Mark and gave him a look of such understanding that Mark felt himself blushing.

 

“Do you need to talk about anything, Mark?” He asked him, gently.

Mark froze up like a deer in headlights.

Talk? What was there to talk about? They didn’t talk. That was against the rules, right?

He laughed nervously. “No..no.. I’m fine.. I...why would I..I need to..”

He faltered as he felt Jason wrapping his arms around him and whispering in his ear.

“Shhh...it’s okay, Mark. It’s okay. Let it out, baby. Just let it out.”

And Mark found himself, without even knowing why, breaking down in tears as Jason held him. 

 

Howard stood and watched, awkwardly, then hurried over to pick up the glass shards with a towel and dispose of them in the waste bin.

He coughed to get their attention. “I’ll...I’ll just..um..be going…”

Jason looked up from soothing Mark and shook his head. 

“Don’t, How. Stay.” He smiled at him gently. “I think maybe you need this too, don’t you?”

 

Howard found himself nodding slowly and closing the door behind him without even having an entirely clear idea what “this” exactly was. 

All he knew was that he wanted for once to be with someone who understood him. Someone who didn’t look through him. 

Maybe even two someones.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “...you and me, we don’t even *like* each other but we keep on fucking over the ones that love us.”

“I think Mark is starting to suspect something,” Gary got straight to the point as he pulled Robbie into his room.

Robbie shook his head. “Nah, he…” He hesitated. 

“What was that with the birthday question then?” asked Gary. Robbie bit his lip and looked uncomfortable.

“And if he suspects something, then it’s only a matter of time before Howard does.”

There was a moment of awkward silence. Then, Robbie burst out, “Jason!”

Gary frowned and looked behind Robbie like he expected to see him there. 

Robbie shook his head. “No. I mean it’s not…” he paused, remembering the crushing smile Jason had given him. “It’s not Mark figuring this out on his own. He’s had help.”

Gary let that sink in. 

“We’re fucked.”

 

Back in Mark’s room, the three of them were perched on the edge of the bed all in a row with Jason and Howard on either side of Mark. 

Mark looked up at Howard sadly. “How?” he asked cautiously, “are...you happy with Gaz?”

Howard opened his mouth to say that of course he was but then shut it before any sound came out because he...wasn’t was he? Not really.

“I’m so tired.” He blurted out. “So tired of him acting like I don’t exist unless he wants something.” 

Mark nodded miserably. “It feels like there’s three people in our relationship. Robbie, me, and Gary. And Gary just keeps crowding me out. Because he’s all Robbie ever talks about. All he thinks about. He’s even…” 

He paused, blushing, and said barely audibly, “he even called out his name when he was fucking me once.”

Howard and Jason both winced sympathetically. Impulsively, Howard leaned over and softly kissed Mark’s lips. 

And Mark, Mark looked up at him with those big, blue, needy eyes you could drown in and pulled him down to him, opening his mouth, grabbing at his hair and sinking into him. 

Howard pulled back with a gasp.

“What are we doing? We can’t…” 

He was cut off by another kiss from Mark, stronger and more desperate than the first one and felt his resolve wavering. 

“Please How. I need this.” He looked at him seriously. “You need this.” 

“Would you like me to leave now?” Jason asked. 

Mark and Howard looked at each other and shook their heads. Mark turned to face Jason and softly, gently, kissed his lips and whispered “be with us. Please.”

 

And Jason did just that.

 

(Back to Gary’s room.)

 

Robbie groaned. “The fuck am I doing here? I love Mark. I don’t even like you. I can’t even fucking stand you, you pompous...self centered…”

Gary cut him off with a kiss. “...dickhead…”

They pulled apart breathlessly a few moments later, Gary muttering “yeah, same to you.”

“I really do hate you, you know. Because you get under my fucking skin so much and you don’t have any right to do that. And then you look at me with that stupid smug look and I don’t know if I want to punch it off you or fuck it off.” 

He took a breath. “And I hate it cos I’ve got someone who loves me, haven’t I? You’ve got someone who loves you. And you and me, we don’t even *like* each other but we keep on fucking over the ones that love us.”

Gary regarded him seriously. “Are you saying we should stop?”

Robbie looked at him pityingly and shook his head. “If you really think either of us is capable of that, you’re a fool.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t get to treat me like I’m your property.”

Another day, another hotel. This one was in Spain. Or Sweden. Or Sardinia. Somewhere in Europe that started with S. It hardly mattered much, all they saw of it was a couple of tv studios, a record store, the airport, and this hotel. The five of them sat down together for breakfast, blearily looking over the daily itinerary sheets that Nigel had passed out. They ate in silence, barely acknowledging each other’s presence and nodding attentively at Nigel as he ran through the day’s schedule with them.

“You’ve got a meet and greet at 10:30 and...all right what is going on here?”

They looked around the table, confused and nervous. What did they do wrong this time?

“I’ve been talking for ten minutes now without once having to tell you lot to stop giggling and pay attention.”

“Maybe we’re just finally starting to grow up, Nige?” Jason offered.

Nigel narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Jason but didn’t say anything.

 

On the limo ride over to the tv studio for an appearance on a morning chat show, Mark and Robbie were on one row of seats and Gary, Howard, and Jason were sat facing them. Mark and Robbie held hands but when they thought the other wasn’t looking, Mark slid his leg out and nudged his foot against Howard and Jason and Robbie did the same thing with Gary. 

Jason stretched his leg out across the floor space between them and lightly rubbed it against Mark’s leg, the two of them exchanging a secret smile.

For the second time that morning, Jason was regarded suspiciously.

“Just stretching,” he smiled at Robbie. “You know how it is with long legs.”

 

After filming the morning program and doing the meet and greet at the record store, the boys were brought back to the hotel to kill a few hours before they had to go film an evening program. Gary quickly pulled Howard into his room and Robbie pulled Mark into his.

 

Jason stood in the lobby for a moment. 

“I guess..I’ll just..um.. go to my room and read” he remarked to no one in particular. 

 

“What’s up then Gaz?” Howard started to ask, but was cut off by Gary moaning into his ear and pulling his shirt off. 

“Want you so bad Doug…” Gary started to plant a trail of kisses down Howard’s torso.

Howard hesitated, hating that his body was responding to the advances. It wasn’t that they were unwelcome, exactly; no matter how dissatisfied he’d been feeling with his relationship with Gary, he still fancied the pants off him. But he knew that as soon as this burst of horniness was over, Gary would retreat into himself again like he always did and he’d be left feeling even more alone than before. 

He wondered if Gary actually listened to Robbie. If they talked. Not joking around, not venting, actual real proper conversation. He wasn’t much for talking, really. But sometimes...sometimes being able to really talk about what was on your mind was a good thing.

 

And it shouldn’t be too much to expect from your lover.

He pulled away reluctantly. “Maybe tonight, yeah? I’m not really in the mood right now.”

Gary pulled away. “Maybe we could talk or something?” Howard ventured. Gary gave a short laugh. “Since when do you ever fancy talking?” Howard looked sheepish. It was daft of him to suggest it, really. 

Howard gave him an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I’m just…you know what, I’m just gonna go take a walk around and clear my head a bit, I think.” 

“All right then,” Gary shrugged and closed the door to his room leaving Howard out in the hallway to figure out what he actually did want to do.

 

Unsurprisingly, he found himself knocking on Jason’s door a few moments later. 

 

Over in Robbie’s room, there was shouting. 

“THE FUCK IS ORANGE PLAYING AT, HUH?”

Mark’s eyes widened. “I don’t know what you mean, Rob?”

Robbie backed Mark against the wall, his eyes darting wildly. 

“He keeps flirting with you…”

He grabbed a firm hold of Mark’s hair and kissed him roughly. Brutally.

“I don’t like that, ya hear? You’re mine, understand? MINE.”

He kissed him again just as brutally and Mark started to moan into the kiss, but then…

“NO!”

Stunning both Robbie and himself, Mark pushed him away.

He glared at Robbie with quiet intensity, eyes blazing. 

“You don’t get to do that. You don’t get to treat me like I’m your property. Especially not with the way you’ve been treating me.”

He shoved past Robbie and slammed the door behind him. 

 

And he too found himself knocking on Jason’s door. 

 

“I’m starting to feel like an agony aunt,” Jason remarked drily as he answered the door to a trembling Mark. 

Mark started to back away. “I didn’t mean to bother you…”

Jason shook his head at him. “Don’t be daft. Get in here.”

He closed the door and regarded the tensely wound Howard and Mark with a sigh.

“What are we gonna do with you? This is killing you both, isn’t it? Being with them.”

He looked at them seriously. “This can’t keep going on. You need to speak up. Both of you. Are you ready to do that?”

 

There was a long silence. They all looked at each other, knowing what needed to be said but afraid at first to say it. Then Howard spoke up quietly and decisively. Just one word. 

“Yes.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you two shagging? Don’t lie.”

The ride over to the tv studio to film the evening program was a silent and tense experience. But they all made it through their appearance without incident. They were perhaps not as jovial around each other as they usually were, but they were still professionals.

When they returned to the hotel they each retreated to their own rooms without speaking. 

“You need to speak up.” Jason’s words echoed over and over in both Howard’s and Mark’s heads.

“Yeah but how?” Howard asked himself as he stripped down to his underwear and stretched across the bed and switched on the television. He idly flipped through the channels, finally settling on an old movie.

“Easy for him to say,” Mark thought as he carefully undressed and folded his clothes and changed into his pajamas and lit a fresh stick of incense in the burner on his bedside table. He then crawled under the covers and switched on the television, ending up on the same movie that Howard was watching.

The next few days, the boys were kept so busy that they barely had time to form complete thoughts, let alone sit down and have a serious talk, much to the relief of Mark and Howard. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to speak up, but neither of them was the confrontational sort. They both knew that if they weren’t so obliging though they would have confronted Robbie and Gary ages ago. And that they probably should have, really.

But that was a hard thing to do when they not only loved their partners, they also thought they were better than them. And so they really didn’t mind for the longest time if their partners took advantage of their loyalty and their egos basked in their open adulation because they were just lucky such an amazing person was actually paying them attention, right?

Yeah. Fuck that. Neither Mark nor Howard could exactly say what their breaking point was; when they started to think “no, this is NOT okay” but once the thought came to them, it grew and grew and refused to budge no matter how they tried to brush it away.

Now they just needed to be brave enough to say so out loud.

Mark had managed to assert himself briefly in the heat of anger. But he didn’t know if he had the courage to do so calmly.

He was going to find out very soon though. 

He didn’t think much about it when he got a call from Jason to come to the hotel conference room for a band meeting. He just assumed that Jason was passing on the word from Nigel.

Once they were all gathered in the conference room they quickly figured out three things. 

1\. Nigel wasn’t the one to call this meeting and he actually had no clue it was happening.  
2\. Jason wasn’t in the room and had in fact locked the four of them in.  
3\. Jason wasn’t letting anyone out until they talked.

“You can do this, all right? I have faith in both of you.” Jason reassured Mark and Howard through the door.

“What’s Lander going on about?” demanded a confused Gary.

“Um...well, he...I mean...we…” Mark faltered but was cut off by Howard.

“Are you two shagging? Don’t lie.” He looked dead on at Gary and Robbie. 

“What?? No! I would never…” Gary spluttered in protest. 

Howard leaned across the table and grabbed him by the collar. 

“I. Said. Don’t. Lie.”

Gary gulped and nodded helplessly. “How long have you known?” he asked.

“Didn’t know for sure till just now really. But me and Mark been suspecting for a few weeks. Just didn’t have any proof.”

Robbie muttered darkly under his breath about Jason planting ideas in their heads. Howard looked at him in disgust. 

“All Jason did was give us the courage to face what’s been going on instead of denying it. Contrary to popular belief, me and Markie ain’t stupid.”

Gary started to protest. “We’ve never thought…”

Mark gave him and Robbie a look of contempt. 

“Right. That’s why you were both so convinced that you were going to get away with it. Because, okay, maybe you don’t think we’re stupid. But you think we’re blind. You think we’re both so blindly loyal to you that we’ll overlook anything. Pushing us away. Ignoring us. Never listening to *our* problems because everything is always about *you* isn’t it? We’re just here to serve your egos.” 

“Well congratulations. You’re both obsessed with yourselves and obsessed with each other and now you don’t have to worry about us standing in the way of your obsessions.” 

He smiled poisonously at Robbie. “I’m afraid it might put a damper on the relationship though if you rant for hours on end to Gaz about every petty little detail of how much you can’t stand him like I’ve been having to listen to…” 

Howard gave Gary an equally poisonous smile. “And I don’t think Bob’s gonna put up with you cutting him off and shutting him down either. He’s not nearly as forgiving as me and you know he’s not gonna put up with being ignored. So good luck with that, mate, really.” 

Robbie and Gary sat in stunned silence. In their hearts they knew they had this coming but they couldn’t quite believe it actually happened.

“But...we love you…” Robbie faltered. Gary nodded.

Mark just shook his head. 

“Frankly my dears…” he began. Howard gave him a smile and took over. 

“We don’t give a damn.”

There was a click of the door unlocking.

With those parting words, Mark and Howard walked out of the room. 

And into Jason’s waiting arms. He kissed them both in turn and beamed at them. 

 

“I’m just so dead proud of you both.”


End file.
